Every day is step one. It doesn’t matter how many hours, days, months, years or decades it’s been. Every day is step one.
It has been 27 years since it stopped. 29.5 years since it started. I am 30 years old. Much of my life has been no more than an observation of step one;
That’s it. Open your eyes and return from sleep. Don’t even really have to get out of bed because sometimes, for some of us, that just isn’t doable.
It doesn’t matter how much healing you’ve done, how much art, poetry, therapy, exercise or screaming you’ve done. Tomorrow is step one again.
You may jump from step one to step 3576; you may linger at step one. You may have been on step 3576 yesterday and proceed from step one to step two. Because the beautiful… and excessively frustrating… thing about this process is that it is non linear. This kind of healing moves in a spiral; you can jump from any point, loop around old ground, step off to somewhere different or simply sit still and hang out for a while.
It’s your spiral.
Step one: Wake up.