Last week, we did it.
Two months ago I finally took a big plunge, stated out loud to a lot of people that I was going to ride 260km along Lake Ontario’s Waterfront Trail and raise $500 for a local sexual assault help center. The ride hasn’t happened yet (we leave in 4 days!), but the fundraising has. It was kind of incredible. We hung around $350 for a while until I realized that we were just $150 away from the goal. Suddenly the donations came rolling in seemingly all at once. Like a bunch of people got together and collectively decided that was the day to do it. As I wrote my Gramma an email about the whole thing, I had to keep updating what the actual sum left was. By the end of the email there was just $95 left to collect. I think maybe 2 days later we had the whole thing.
Two days after that another $100 came in. Not only had we reached the goal I set, but surpassed it.
In addition to all the contributions, people shared the story. My story. That was probably the best part. You see, when i first decided to do this, I choked on the fear of “what if no one cares about my story? What if my story, my struggle to over come, means nothing?” It stopped me dead and I probably cried because who can swallow the thought of your life story, the transformation you conduct by your own hands, meaning nothing to anyone at all? Despite that fear, I pressed on. Courage really is, only ever, born in the moment of terror. We really can only be courage when we are afraid. I mean really, where’s the courage in doing something that doesn’t scare you? That’s not courage, that’s confidence and they two are different, though not inseparable. Confidence has it’s roots in courage. Confidence happens when we do things that scare us, with courage, and discover that we can live through it. Even if we fail, confidence can be built by getting back up again.
So anyway. I’ve reached my goal and in 4 days I will be departing from my home on a big journey. I am a bit afraid, and a bit confident. So you could say I am experiencing confident courage. I’m good with that.
There is still time to donate too. The fundraiser closes on Monday June 22 at 12:59am. We will have been home, by then, for at least a full 24 hours, probably sleeping and moaning about how sore our legs and back and butts are. I will be updating, as much as I can, over the 3 days we are out via my cell phone. And I will do my best to put in a post ride wrap up Monday morning so my followers, contributors and community can be a part of the last stage.
If you want to be a part of the gravy train – as I said, we have reached the $500 goal and now, the rest is a beautiful river of gravy for SACHA, the Sexual Assault Centre (Hamilton Area) – then please visit the campaign page.
Thanks for following me here. This story of mine is beginning to change. Every day I feel less and less like a survivor and more and more like someone who is thriving.
Onwards and Upwards…